With more women having affairs and more and more men visiting female escorts in Dundee, is it time to rethink the traditional relationship model?

With affairs at a record high, scientists are now asking the question 'are humans  biologically programmed for polygamy?' In 2019, a recorded 60 million users had signed up to the affair site Ashley Madison, an increase of 10% from the year before. For those of us who had grown with an idea of one love, these figures may shock, or (depending on your experience) be unsurprising. Marriage and loyalty go together like bread and butter, but perhaps they are not exclusive?

Is it possible for a man to stay faithful with so many beautiful Dundee escorts online and waiting for just a phone call to have a sexual encounter?

In order to understand why people have affairs, it's important to first remove judgment, and then it's possible to see the bigger why. Humans have always been social animals, we have also been driven by a force that is almost impossible to deny, no it's not desired, it's security.

Do a lot of married men use the services of Dundee escorts?

For centuries, men have been given permission to be sexually promiscuous. The idea of a harem, one male courting several females, is not infrequent in the animal kingdom. Even when I was at university, the idea of one-night stands for guys was applauded. However, for women, it has been a different story. What we now call 'slut-shaming,' women have been sexually suppressed by society and religion for centuries. Sigmund Freud's famous question 'what do women want?' has no satisfactory answer. For men, the Coolidge effect is the primal desire to hook-up with as many partners as possible. New evidence shows that it’s not only men who are affected by the Coolidge effect. Scientists tested female lab rats to see sexual activity levels with old mates compared to new ones, and the new mates copulated 50% more than the old ones. This  'effect' is also present in humans where passion can be lost for a long-term partner only to be replaced with a new and exciting one.

Is it the wife's fault that so many men visit Dundee escorts and massage parlours? 

Research now shows that women's libido is equal to, if not greater than, men's. In fact,  it has been argued that women have greater erotic potential. Books like 50 Shades of  Grey have seen women take control of their desires and fantasies. The previously held notions of asexuality and 'close your eyes and think of England' are gone, and women are finally able to express their sexuality. The problem is, society and marriage can have outdated views of what is expected from women, forcing some women to 'look' beyond the marriage archetype to express themselves.

Should Dundee escorts and sex workers, in general, be legalised?

After all, marriage was originally about control and possession; the father handed the  bride to the groom, the bride took the man's name, perhaps this explains why so many women are seeking affairs. One woman who used Ashley Maddison explained that she had 'handed over too much autonomy' and the only thing she had control over left was  'her body'. Another woman explained that after her husband had hidden the bankruptcy of his business from her, she realised that they weren't in this together. For many women,  relationships bring a heavily one-sided compromise, and they become powerless.  Having an affair can be the catalyst for taking power back, or even remembering that they are empowered and desirable.

Should Dundee escorts be given the same rights under the law as any other worker?

There are many reasons why people would use Ashley Madison or consider it an affair in the first place. For some, they are not happy in their primary relationship, others are lonely, others lack passion. The site also revealed that most encounters remain online,  this gives people the rush of an online experience without the guilt of a physical one. For many women, their liaison went no further than photos and chat. It was mainly the men who tried to push physical sex, while the women were satisfied with the emotional high. In this way, Ashley Madison provides a safe space to explore passion again. Many of the women do not want to leave their partner, their needs are just not being met. Having an online affair means that women feel safe, in a controlled environment, and that they are not truly offending their partner. The thrill makes them feel desired again.

If a married man visits an escort or a Dundee massage girl, is it cheating?

The question we need to ask is "is it cheating if it's online?" Everyone’s answer is different and it's a personal decision. To some, it's a gentler alternative. To others, it can even save a marriage. One woman explained how her renewed passion made her  happier in her life and marriage: "I felt so ugly and unattractive until I realised that it  wasn't me." Another woman expressed getting into marriage too soon, and another said that her partner had cheated on her first. Sometimes, as with open relationships, hookups are consensual. In this case, both individuals can separate sex from love. Many people in open relationships love their partner but recognise they have different needs. The boost in self-esteem and confidence from attraction should not be undervalued.  Many people feel at their best when they feel sexy. In fact, men's testosterone levels are at their highest when they feel attractive and confident. It's easy to see why people would not be at their best in a passionless relationship. The idea of being valued and desired again can be enough to restore a sense of self-confidence and excitement to our lives. Women report feeling unattractive when their mood is low, and attractive when their spirits are high. In the same way, being undesired will reduce self-esteem, and being desired will lift it. Whatever the reason, affairs are not a new thing. Dundee escorts provide a space for people, whether online or in the world, to take control of their desires and needs. Affairs are unlikely to go away, so keeping it online and safe might be the best option for everyone.

After your visit to the sexy escorts and erotic massage girls in Dundee, what else is there to do?

We made the top ten list again - hurrah! We are officially the 8th best place to live in the UK. I feel momentarily proud; well done me for living here. Then I start to wonder: who is making these judgments and based on what? My daughter is a teenager, and she would have a very different list of criteria from me for example. If quality schools and rural idylls don’t do it for you then what is there to entice the 18-35s into living here? I am the first to hold my hand up and say it has been a few years since I was out on a school night or any night. Maybe I’m just not aware of what the young folks around here have in the way of massage parlours in Dundee. I decided to find out. Ever the armchair warrior I reject my white stilettos in favour of PJs, slippers - and google. A quick search reveals there is one-night club in the town and it is only open on a Friday and Saturday night. But I know this as I live around the corner. I have firsthand experience of putting a pillow over my head as the dull thud of drum and bass reaches my ears at 3 am. Presumably, then someone is in there having a good time. And really that’s it. Really. There are a few bars and pubs. Leather armchairs coffee shops that convert to a wine bar in the evening - quiz night anyone? Locals for the locals. But generally, nothing to keep you from being home in bed before you turn back into a pumpkin. Which all adds up to being in Dundee the place to live in the UK, does it? For me, yes. After all, if you want bright lights and entertainment there’s always the train to London..as long as you don’t mind the branch line service, and you may have to wait for your connection, but there​ is​ a new shelter. 8th best place to live, remember.