If a married man visits an escort in Charleston is it cheating? Ok, I'm a wife and a mother, and my gut reaction is 'yes'. Actually, it's 'hell yes'. And I'm not really the jealous type. But if my husband 'needs' to visit an escort, then what is he lacking? What does it say about me? About our marriage and the fact that he signed up for a life with just me. It was his choice, and surely he made the choice with some degree of knowledge of what that would mean?? Even if I have become a little larger, saggier, greyer, more wrinkly, etc. That's happened because I gave birth to, and look after, his children; haven't I?

If a wife finds that her husband has hired a Charleston escort or visited a massage parlor in South Carolina should she seek a divorce lawyer? I'm getting a little emotional about it already! Maybe I'm more jealous than I realized. So, I've decided to be a little more scientific in my response to the question and not just consider my own feelings. I did a quick poll of some of my girlfriends, some married, some not and, ok it wasn't exactly scientific, but the resounding answer came back as you guessed it, 'hell yes'! Their thoughts echoed mine of monogamy is what he signed up for. I also tried to poll my male friends and, strangely enough, I am yet to receive any responses…

How many wives suspect their husbands are seeing Charleston escorts but are too afraid to confront him? I'd like to add, by the way, that when I asked my own husband he was very quick to say 'yes, of course!' Was the tone of his voice urgent because he fervently believed it, or because he thought that was the right thing to say and was worried about my reason for asking? I'm certain that it's the former, as I believe I know my husband and that he's a loyal man. I only don't say 100% because I've been caught in that trap before and don't want to tempt fate!

But then I started thinking, is it always cheating? I guess, in some ways, it depends on what your definition of cheating is. One of Google's definitions of cheating is 'to act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage'. So if you're not lying about it, maybe that's ok? Another is 'to be sexually unfaithful'. So if sex isn't involved, maybe it's ok? It depends on what the 'visit' entails. Is it company, flirting, some sort of fantasy of being appealing to someone 'out of their league' or that is untouchable, or is it – as we'd all assume from the title – something physical? Certainly, if it's the latter I'd still say that it is cheating. But again, is that just my bias? My version, albeit seemingly supported by my close friends, the church, society, and the media, of what a loving relationship should include and exclude. After just a quick online search, I could find tonnes of articles and opinion pieces, all using the word 'cheating' in relation to visiting an escort. So, it's not just my bias then. But, there are also those couples who believe in open relationships. I don't understand it personally. I would be forever comparing myself to the possible or real 'other'. Perhaps I am more insecure than I realized? Perhaps it is more about me than about the escort? Again, I digress…

If a married man wants no strings attached sex with a different girl who is a young escort in Charleston should the wife be worried? There are also those people who believe that a visit to an escort, instead of harming a relationship, could help strengthen it. There are couples who are unable to be with their partner physically, due to emotional or physical barriers. The ability to visit an escort may just give the man (and actually, we should also consider whether the same question is true of wives who visit escorts – I'm all for full equality for men and women. The good, bad and the ugly) enough of a release (pun intended) to allow them to continue a close and loving relationship with their wife.

Is it cheating when there is no emotional involvement? There are then those who believe that it's only cheating when love is involved. It's ok when it's a professional exchange. But if the man were to fall in love with the Charleston escort, or any other woman, then that's when it becomes cheating. I'm unconvinced, to be honest. Sure, if my husband were to fall in love with someone else I'd be devastated. But at least I could console myself with the notion that he remains a loving and caring man. The man I fell in love with. Something went wrong with our relationship – and I always believe that whatever goes wrong, both partners are involved in allowing it to happen – and my husband seemingly needed to channel his love somewhere else.

If a married man masturbates in private while watching a porn video involving a Japanese escort in Charleston on webcams, is that cheating? But if he were to become involved with another woman simply on physical terms, I would have to more seriously question who he was. Or who he had become. He certainly wouldn't be the man I thought he was. That opens up a whole can of worms, a can I don't like the look, smell, or taste of. In the end, what it actually boils down to is; what does your particular marriage or relationship define as 'cheating'. If both parties are aware of what's going on and happy – or at least somehow comfortable – with it, then I guess it's not cheating. There will be men, and couples, out there who will have made 'sound' justification for their actions and been open enough that there is no lying – and therefore no cheating – involved. Hmm still sounds fishy to me. For me, and for my relationship, I will continue to allow myself to believe in and agree with, what my husband said and the fact that there's just the two of us involved in it. Even if I am saggier, baggier, greyer. Oh, dear. I really am a lot more insecure than I realized. Time to polish off the yoga pants perhaps?