Tempe

 

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Isn’t it better for a married guy to visit escorts in Tempe AZ rather than sign-up on a dating site looking for no strings sex?

'Don't look now! Six o'clock with the horn-rimmed glasses and the cappuccino-dipped goatee. He's looking at you now don't look'. Remember the socially awkward contortions to sneak a peek  at a beau across a crowded room at a party? Your girlfriend yanking your drink-laden arm away from that potential dating target? And once contact was deemed appropriate due to the correct  jean to shirt quotient measured by height and heft times attraction scale divided by care given by  yours truly was it even worth engaging in conversation with the dude?

This dating complexity was usually managed against a backdrop of banging techno, shouting  people pogo-ing into you while drinks stain that pale dress you only wore to seem cute and  accessible but not too slutty? That was the dating scene of the nineties and noughties. Every encounter foreshadowing the inevitable shock of what the dude actually looked like at 4 in the morning when the lights hit the sordid dance floor and said dude was what you either decided to either cold-shoulder or take his digits hastily scribbled onto a soiled napkin. Not sputnik science  but pretty exhausting and sophisticated although mostly to be truthful, carried out on automatic  pilot after a certain age.

At the turn of the century acquaintances started asking me what I thought of Tempe AZ escorts and whether it would be an appropriate means to the end of finding the 'one'. I am still shocked at  how informed women ask me this now that internet searches for new boyfriends have become  part of the global cultural scene. Apparently I was behind the times, they would retort. Dating websites were no longer the reserve of a minority of shy and obsessed stalkers who found striking up  a conversation under an assumed identity was the safest way to secure their next victim. I was basically told I should question what was what I assumed was pretty basic common sense. I  pursued this line of enquiry by asking: Who on earth would eschew the rigours of natural selection and revert to selecting a playmate or potential partner from the anonymity of a computer screen.  Wasn't this the sure fire way to hook up with a psychotic. This didn't impress my innovative tech inquisitive mates and the conversation usually ended as an argument culminating in my leaving the table shouting 'Are you insane? Do you want to end up as a statistic?'

It's 2010 and it turns out I was one of the only massage girls in Tempe AZ who wasn't actively using Tinder as an advertising medium. Apparently Grindr wasn't just the purview of ye olde gay hook-up culture and  that the multiple partner male-on-male 'dating' app was the baseline for a radical shift in the culture in dating for members of all echelons of society. Everywhere. And this on an unprecedented international scale. I did start to notice the posters for Parship or whichever flavour of the month dating app were ubiquitous in each German city I travelled to.

Back in the Arizona, the 2016 Ashley Madison hacking scandal served as a brutal reminder  of the importance of data protection and the vulnerability of users of online dating apps. I find it easy to believe how so many married people would give up the humdrum of everyday life to attempt to conduct affairs under cover of anonymity on a blatantly amoral platform. Busy at work?  No problem just key in your basic data oh and it's free for ladies? Sure fire way to meet mystery  members of the opposite sex. The idea of avoiding the minefield of social constraints littering one's inner social circle and using an app to fulfil fantasies of escape still seems to good to pass on to this day, and Ashley Madison has risen like a PR phoenix from the ashes of one of the most  shocking dating app scandals ever.

To be fair, all dating app accidents emerging from this paradigm shift are not created equal. The more recent Texas -sized posters on U.S. freeways asking distracted drivers whether they'd like to  become a sugar baby in Tempe AZ to college-aged girls hit me like a head-on collision with reality. Offering a  niche to refinance innocents' and not-so-innocent girls' cursi honorum are in my mind the  sleaziest thing to come out of the cybersphere and to be launched into our culture. Accepting this means that the cultural and moral wasteland of the kind of society we inhabit seems to have taken a turn for the worst, if that was even possible.

When do two consenting adults in a short-term affair become candidates in a blatant exercise in the commodification of body and soul? can't this simply end up in the postmodern toilet of vacuous relationships built on mutual exploitation and unabashed graft? How can human beings even begin to respect themselves if selling one's most intimate attributes to the first pimp who asks to be your sugar daddy via the internet is deemed even vaguely acceptable for public consumption and subsequently advertised widely on the motorway of broken dreams. Really? Have we accepted that a wide variety of bog standard dating apps has effectively transformed human relationships to the point of no return? Not sure I like the way we're heading...

If in fact the sugar daddy paradox of two-way exploitation is the golden standard for postmodern  relationships then does this mean that we should relax about the whole dating app thing? Should  we carry on as before and try to avoid the vagaries associated with the newly minted term of cat fishing? I mean, seeming as everyone else is doing it why should we think we're special  individuals and the new sign-me-up mentality should prevail?

I personally believe that this new normal is madness and you cannot replace a good old glance  across a crowded floor and that a promise of romance is only valid after one's survival instinct has kicked. Shouldn't one take a minute while assessing the rational pros and cons of engaging in a relationship with a flesh and blood human being and not the photoshopped likeness of some nobody met in a flash, on the internet?

If a friend vouches for a mutual friend on a blind date there are certain controls in place. If you meet a guy on a dating site you do not know this person from Adam. Plus in my experience the  people who use dating sites often confess to third parties that they never disclose that they are already in partnerships or even married. Such dating app aficionados are glad-handedly running  multiple relationships from homes where their spouses or children live unbeknownst to their  families. Or are most dating site users are looking for casual encounters with Tempe AZ escorts with people genuinely looking for lasting and trusting relationships? Who knows what motivates the user, whether he/ she be a pro escort or innocent seeker of love.