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If a married man visits an escort or massage girl in Haringey is he cheating on his wife?

It is easy to be negative about the existence of the extramarital affair site Ashley Madison,  especially after it was hacked and we all came to understand just how many people were drawn to the service they provide. People like you and me, and some people supposedly better than everyone else.

Do all escorts in Haringey offer girlfriend experience?

No, we don’t like to be honest about what happens in the shadows and a website like Ashley  Madison puts it right in our face. It’s only natural to protest this site, which advertises fleeting,  greedy pleasure over long term commitment. Allowing for a site like that, even in concept, makes us feel like we condone the behaviour it facilitates, and nobody wants to be associated with betrayal, especially of the marital vows.

What can an escort in Haringey give to a man sexually that his wife cannot?

Marital vows are rarely challenged in our society, for ‘we’ve been doing it for so long’ and we consider them an unchangeable part of human nature. It’s the path we are all to take, so god forbid it might not be what we were told it would be. God forbid there is no once upon a time,  and no happily ever after. We don’t like to admit defeat or accept that we can fall out of love and into lust with someone else. That there is no more desire, passion, or even compassion anymore between two people. Ashley Madison does not only show us how it is and how it is not, but its existence also breaks the long-kept delusional promise that love is simple and sex is complicated.

Why do married men visit massage parlours in Haringey?

In AA, the first step towards recovery from addiction is admitting there is a problem. This is true for all human behaviour. Change can only really happen when we see why it is necessary. We must acknowledge something in order to challenge it.  Ashley Madison does not facilitate extramarital affairs that would otherwise not happen. These kinds of affairs, which have obviously taken place for centuries, have, like most things in 21st-century life, just found a platform online. As such, the platform does not create infidelity, it merely highlights the demand for extramarital affairs, and offers a service: matchmaking.

Are hook-up sites like Tinder openly advertising Haringey escorts?

Unlike Tinder and Plenty of Fish, on Ashley Madison, it is not frowned upon to be married and in search of sex and/or love. This makes Ashley Madison in many ways a more honest platform than other escort websites or apps, which require married people to lie about their relationship status.

And they do. There are countless stories of men and women finding the partner (they thought)  they were in a monogamous relationship with, on an escort app searching for someone else.

Do the majority of people support the view that Haringey escorts and massage girls in Haringey should be legalised?

Whether or not we morally object to extramarital affairs or infidelity does not make it go away.  Ashley Madison might not have started as an idealistic platform to create more progressiveness around the societal rules of marriage or as a kind service to the bored and lonely married souls out there, but it has nonetheless created a space for people, and more openness about something that was previously entirely behind closed doors.

It is a matter of free speech to allow writers and journalists their opinions (to a certain extent). A  lack of censure ensures a free society. Similarly, it should be a matter of free speech to allow websites to offer (legal) services for which there is demand. One can choose to use the platform or to ignore it entirely. If a restaurant with unhealthy greasy food can have a place on the high street, Ashley Madison can have a place online.

Is it better for a man to visit an escort in Haringey rather than engage in an affair with another married woman, thus putting two marriages at risk?

Ashley Madison’s inherently suggestive slogan “Define your experience, and live life to the fullest! Life is short. Have an affair”, seeks to open relationships and with that opens the conversation around what relationships should look like. Don’t those who are unhappy in their current situation and seeking a way out, deserve to have a platform that presents them with options? Should people in bad or unfulfilling marriages not be encouraged to step out of them, even if just for a bit? Maybe they can be made to feel seen again through someone else’s eyes? Most of us know people stay in bad marriages far longer than they should. Perhaps having an affair or subscribing to Ashley  Madison is what some people need to feel empowered enough to make choices that make them happier in the long term. Ashley Madison does question the sanctity of marriage in the sleaziest of ways but with that also its rules, and it is high time someone does.

The demand for sex workers has never changed throughout society, If Haringey escorts, escort agencies, and massage girls were taxed wouldn’t that bring more money into the system? 

The next step for Ashley Madison to ensure they are and remain relevant is to include and attract women in the same way they do men. This means debunking the myth that men are more interested in extramarital affairs than women. This should not be hard; popular Books like Sex at  Dawn and more recently Wednesday Martin’s ‘Untrue’ - “Why Nearly Everything We Believe About  Women, Lust, and Infidelity Is Wrong and How the New Science Can Set Us Free.” expand heavily on science showing women are just as prone to engage in extra-marital affairs as men, if not more.  They might not be using Ashley Madison to facilitate their (desire for) affairs yet, but that is because it is not catered to them as a primary user. Built into the service is an inherent bias towards women being passive, rather than pursuant. They do not have to pay to use all the features on the website, whilst men must upgrade to Premium or buy credits to even talk to women. This pay inequality assumes and re-establishes men to be keener and in less demand.  It also makes the platform more prone to fakes and money scams. A more inclusive, less gender-prescriptive way forward could make Ashley Madison a real platform for change on the personal and the societal front, but of course, that might not be their objective.