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Can a hookup site ever take the place of Newham escort agency girls?

Life’s short: have an affair. That’s long been the advice of the creators behind Ashley Madison - advocates of the extramarital adventure, dubious guardians of user data, and baton-holders in one of the most ancient moral questions on earth: to cheat, or not to cheat?

If a married man hires a Newham escort for an intimate encounter is it cheating?

For those deeply in love, this question is meaningless. For others, it’s offensive and sacrilegious, encouraging a brutal end-times at which only the faithful and chaste rise to their salvation, leaving Ashley Madison account holders with eternal hell-fire licking at their ankles. Whatever your position on the morality of infidelity, you have to admit that Ashley Madison have well and truly made this transgression their own. Sure, you could always choose to cheat on Tinder, Bumble or Hinge, but on Ashley Madison, where full-lipped seductresses “shhh” at you from every page, you’re encouraged to buy into the intrigue and excitement of an affair from the get-go. And disaffected spouses the world over have done just that, flocking in their thousands to the website for their fix of fleshy temptation. They’ve done so in spite of the outraged headlines, the celebrity criticisms, and the hushed dinner table condemnations that have accompanied Ashley Madison from the very start. If anything, the criticism worked in the escorts site’s favour: by breaking one of society’s last taboos, Ashley Madison became subversive, cheeky - and, inarguably, sexy. But somewhere in society’s soul, an uneasiness remained. Were we really ready for an openly adulterous escorts app?

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To think about the answer to this pressing question, it’s worth acknowledging that infidelity is a historical inevitability - at least since the creation of man-and-wife as we know it. You’ll find adulterous characters throughout the Old Testament, and unfaithful wives in Homer’s epics, composed thousands of years before Christ. More recently, D. H. Lawrence’s 1928 novel Lady Chatterley’s Lover, the story of an upper-class wife sleeping with her husband’s gardener, was only able to be published in the UK in 1960 - such was the outrage that the scandalous book provoked. In this sense, Ashley Madison is hopping on a decidedly ancient trend. Blaming the site for causing affairs is like blaming car manufacturers for DUI deaths. And suggesting that there’s something uniquely offensive about Ashley Madison when several US Presidents have themselves conducted extramarital affairs, feels like scapegoating rather than addressing a problem in a rational manner.

Is visiting a massage girl in Newham for sex the same as having an affair in the eyes of the law?

And yet, is there anything wrong with an affair in the first place? Our guts say yes: adulterers are lying to a spouse, breaking a vow. They’re betraying their family, selfishly seeking pleasure at the expense of domestic peace and stability. But actually, when you read through some of the accounts on Ashley Madison - and, luckily for you, I’ve done it for you - you’re struck by how open and honest these would-be cheaters can be. You can learn about someone’s kinks and fantasies if that’s what you’re looking for - but you can also unearth little snippets of users’ lives that can be surprisingly touching, even heart-breaking. I saw profiles that could state - in years - how long it had been since they were last touched by their partner. Some profiles spoke of a fragile truce ‘for the children’s sake’, while others wrapped the tragedy of their failing marriage in the apparently harmless line: ’Just looking for some fun.’ Though these brutally honest profiles constitute a minority on the site (bleeding hearts aren’t exactly very sexy, after all) it’s fair to assume that other Ashley Madison account holders have equally complex personal lives and domestic situations. For them, an affair might be a chance to feel good again, after what might have been years of mistreatment, abuse, or neglect.

Does modern Love include being unfaithful with Newham escorts and massage parlour girls?

In truth, we can never know the intricate reasoning that leads someone to create an Ashley Madison profile. But we do know quite a lot about love in modern times. For instance, we know that in the UK, 40% of marriages end in divorce - hardly a glowing endorsement for an institution only recently unshackled from its more stringent religious overtones. Meanwhile, charities remind us that domestic abuse is a real and growing problem in the UK. One charity reported back in April that their emergency phone lines saw an increase in calls of over 700% after the government’s decision to place the UK in lockdown. This isn’t to mention the high rates of anxiety, depression, and even suicide that researchers report are felt by those trapped in unhappy marriages. Taboo-breaking is about opening up our hearts to the deviant behaviour of those around us. In this sense, can’t we find within us some compassion for those who seek the attention, the compliments - and, yes, the caresses - of another? Can we maintain that adultery is uniformly unforgivable when so many relationships struggle on in misery?

When I go to visit an escort in Newham I go just for fun, it doesn’t mean I don’t love my wife as much, am I wrong?

Lady Chatterley’s Lover was so loathed not because it contained an affair, but because D. H. Lawrence wrote it in such a way as to force the reader to sympathise with the unfaithful wife. We saw her marriage for what it was: an abject failure akin to imprisonment, and destined for despair. With Ashley Madison, the closest the twenty-first century has come to a Lady Chatterley, we again have an opportunity to understand adultery. We even have the chance to celebrate it - as a desperate form of escapism that can help give people the confidence they need to take care of their emotional needs. Even if we accept that some users on Ashley Madison are purely out for steamy, sacrilegious, and secretive trysts, we have to admit that some are like Lady Chatterley: forced into the privacy of the gardener’s shed by the coldness they feel at home. And who’s to police the fun of other people, anyway? Whether Ashley Madison’s extramarital meet-ups result in new sparks of passion and life, or the end of gloomy, doomed relationships, the app should forever have a place in our bafflingly diverse world.

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